


Same, but Different

by HandwithQuill



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-30
Updated: 2014-07-30
Packaged: 2018-02-11 01:22:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2047887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HandwithQuill/pseuds/HandwithQuill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Round 1 fic for the Rumbelle Showdown. Prompt was: Envy vs. Jealousy, For your entertainment, A terrible beauty</p>
            </blockquote>





	Same, but Different

Envy and Jealousy. Most used them interchangeably, they were the same, but different. The difference had always been obvious to Rumpelstiltskin. Envy was now, as he sat in the back of the Pawn Shop, fiddling. Polishing this, rebinding that, and replacing the clasp on a necklace he was going to end up giving to Belle. His Love was in the front of the store. He could hear her voice as she talks to a customer. She laughs freely as she tries to convince Mr. Tillman that both Hansel and Gretel will love the collection of antique toys that were so much like what they had back home in the Enchanted Forest.

He's always envied her that, ever since she first made the deal with him. Her openness, the easy with with she interacts with others, gently guiding them to do what she wants. Oh, he knows how to get others to do what he wants, but not like Belle. Not with a smile and an a pleasant thank you. No, Rumpelstiltskin knows intimidation, knows fear and manipulation and sly wordplay. 

But sometimes it exhausted him. Always having to stay four steps ahead of everyone. Always having to keep up the stoic persona of Mr. Gold. Sometimes he wanted to let those he chose to care about in, just a little. He wanted to sit in Granny's Dinner and trade barbs with the Widow Lucas or Regina. Wanted to help Henry with his homework and teach magic to Emma.

But he was held back. By the memory of his Father, of Milah, of Cora. Of all of those he had tried to give a little piece of his heart to who ground it under their boot heel as the left him behind.

He stands and parts the curtain separating the back of the store just in time to see Belle usher Tillman out, flip the sign and lock to door, a smile still on her face.

The envy swirling around in his chest makes him smile at her, because he loves her. Because she inspires him, makes him want to be better, makes him stronger. 

“Come on,” she says, holding out her hand, “I'm hungry, let's go to Granny's.” 

He takes her hand.

** ** ** 

It's at the dinner that the difference happens. He's sitting in a booth, the same one they were in during the disastrous date with 'Lacy'. Maybe it's that memory that sparks it, the memory of trying to make 'Lacy' love him like Belle did when he has know idea why Belle did in the first place. Maybe it watching her sit at the counter, the dying sun coming in the windows illumination the highlights in her hair. 

She's so beautiful. 

His hand clenches around his glass and his eyes drop to it as well to hide his thoughts, because, deep inside, in a far dusty corner of his brain he never wants her to know about, he's terrified of her beauty. Finds it terrible and a threat to them.

This is what he blames for the gnawing in the pit of his stomach and the icy feeling around his heart as he watches her talk to the man who just sat down next to her. He's young, handsome, well built, probably a farmer back home in the Enchanted Forest. He grinds his teeth as Belle's easy, carefree laughter echoes around the dinner. 

He ties to battle it, this jealousy that's building inside him. He knows it's unfounded and pointless. 

They are True Love. 

Belle has fought hard and suffered to prove that to him. But he knows, in all of his centuries, he's learned that having True Love doesn't mean you will be together. And his insecurities still whisper to him that she will leave him one day. 

He hasn't yet lifted his eyes by the time she returns to the table. Her eyes ask what's wrong, but he purses his mouth, knowing nothing good will pass his lips. She presses and something bitter slips through his teeth. She blinks, tilts her head, and before he can help it, more is spilling out of his mouth. 

She doesn't just sit there, not his love, and it is one of the things he love about her. She give his crap back to him, then they are going at it, loudly, of all the dinner looking on. Until she's had enough and storms out.   
The door slams shut and he slowly gets out of the booth, all eyes on him. He slip on his overcoat and smooths it down.

“If we've done all we can for you entertainment.” he says and follows her out. 

** ** ** 

Hours later, as they get ready for bed, they're still there. The Envy and Jealousy, swirling around each other. There is also tension coming from Belle as he slips into bed. He keeps to his side, not wanting to upset her anymore until he figures out the best way to apologize, when she huffs and nearly slams down her book. 

By the time he turns his head, she's already over him, hand in his hair, pulling their lips together. He rolls them, grabbing the envy and jealousy, reaching for the passion behind them, and makes love to her. 

Afterwards, sated and breathless, they lay on their sides facing each other. She caresses the hair at his temple and their eyes meet. She shakes her head against their pillow, a knowing quirk at the corner of her mouth. She leans in and whispers against his lips.

“I love you, Rumpelstiltskin. All of you.”

He sighs, pulls her against him, kisses her head, and relaxes. The Envy and Jealousy settles. They're not gone, just overpowered by his love for her. If he concentrates he can still feel them. The same, but different.


End file.
